came across this super interesting blog post by my friend...
thought of sharing this with u guys out thr! =)
probably only understandable by musicians. hahas!

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Q: What do you call a person who plays the viola?
A: A violator.

Q: What is the difference between the first and last desk of a violin section?
A: Half a measure.

Q: What is the best recording of the Walton viola concerto?
A: Music Minus One.

Q: Why can’t you hear a piccolo on a digital recording?
A: Recording technology has reached such an advanced level of development that all extraneous noise is eliminated.

Q: What do a saxophone and a lawsuit have in common?
A: Everyone is happy when the case is closed.

Q:Did you hear about the classical pianist who was not a good speller?
A:When she went out to buy something she left a sign on her door that said: “Out Chopin. Be Bach in a minuet”

Q: Why did they arrest the musician?
A: He got into treble.

Q: What is musical and handy in the supermarket.
A: A Chopin Lizst.

Q: Why did the music student have a piano in the bathroom?
A: Because he was practicing Handel’s Water Music.

Two violinists make a pact that whoever dies first, he will contact the other and tell him what life in Heaven is like. Poor Max has a heart attack and dies. He manages to make contact with Abe the next day. Abe says, “I can’t believe this worked! So what is it like in Heaven?” Max replies, “Well, it’s great, but I’ve got good news, and I’ve got bad news. The good news is that there’s a fantastic orchestra up here, and in fact, we re playing “Sheherezade,” your favorite piece, tomorrow night!” Abe says, “So What’s the bad news?” Max replies, “Well, you're booked to play the solo!”
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EfficiencyFrom: Efficiency & Ticket, Ltd., Management Consultants
To: Chairman, The London Symphony Orchestra
Re: Schubert's Symphony No. 8 in B minor.
After attending a rehearsal of this work we make the following observations and recommendations:
1. We note that the twelve first violins were playing identical notes, as were the second violins. Three violins in each section, suitably amplified, would seem to us to be adequate.
2. Much unnecessary labour is involved in the number of demisemiquavers in this work; we suggest that many of these could be rounded up to the nearest semiquaver thus saving practice time for the individual player and rehearsal time for the entire ensemble. The simplification would also permit more use of trainee and less-skilled players with only marginal loss of precision.
3. We could find no productivity value in string passages being repeated by the horns; all tutti repeats could also be eliminated without any reduction of efficiency.
4. In so labour-intensive an undertaking as a symphony, we regard the long oboe tacet passages to be extremely wasteful. What notes this instrument is called upon to play could, subject to a satisfactory demarcation conference with the Musician's, be shared out equitably amongst the other instruments.
Conclusion: if the above recommendations are implemented the piece under condsideration could be played through in less than half an hour with concomitant savings in overtime, lighting and heating, wear and tear on the instruments and hall rental fees. Also, had the composer been aware of modern cost-effective procedures he might well have finished this work.

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Last but not least
Q: Why did Beethoven kill his chicken?
A: It kept saying "Bach, Bach, Bach..."
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